How do you begin a story as important as this? How do you begin a tale that shaped everything about the person you are today? It's been a year and I still can't come up with the right words, so the words I have will have to do.
Once upon a time there was a girl, a girl who loved all animals, but dogs the very most. She spent loads of time daydreaming, planning out names, drawing up kennel plans, poring through the RC Steel catalog and marking down all the things she would need to buy. She played show dog with the family pets and watched from the sidelines as her Mom taught obedience classes at the local church. When she was very young, about 5 or 6 years old, she decided that the dog for her was a Doberman. They were the most beautiful dogs she had ever seen, she drew them constantly and named them and had big plans. But her father had other plans. He said they were devil dogs and he wouldn't have one in his house. So that was that and the dream got put on hold.
Fast forward a few years. The girl is grown, but she never forgot her dream. She was moving out, but before she even packed a box she had reserved a puppy from a good breeder. The dream was going to be a reality.
That girl was me, that dream never died. I had to answer tons of questions and prove that I was a suitable home. I was asked what I was looking for. My dream had been a big, black and rust male doberman so that's what I asked for. I also requested a couch potato because I thought that's what would fit best into my life. When the puppies were born there were only 2 males, one red and one black. This was my first dog and I knew I was behind other people in line for a puppy. I didn't know if there would even be a puppy for me but I went to visit them anyway. We arrived at the breeder's home and there they all were, 4 or 5 weeks old I can't remember now. What I can remember is someone handing me that only black male and crying and feeling the rush of instantaneous love. It took my breath away. He was such a tiny guy, the runt of the whole litter. But he was so tenacious even at that age. He could barely walk steadily but he tried to shake and kill a little toy crab, knocking himself over in the process. I remember it like it was yesterday.
I waited with building anxiety over whether this puppy was going to be mine. I visited every Sunday until it was almost time for them to go to their new homes. At our last puppy visit before announcements were made, Carol pulled me aside and said "He's not a couch potato but he's yours!" If I had only known how fortuitous this little change in plans would be.
From the first second I held him in my arms until the moment I held him while he took his last breath Mojo was the absolute light of my life. He taught me how to be a better trainer, a better handler, a better listener and a better friend. He introduced me to agility and the amazing world of people that I've met pursuing that sport. He taught me what it means to love unconditionally and how to let go. He taught me to live in the moment, to always appreciate the small bits of beauty and the fleeting peaks of joy. He taught me that the journey really is the reward.
Our journey was long, longer than I even hoped it could be. But still not long enough. It never would have been enough time for me. But it really is all the little silly parts of our journey together that I remember the most. We had some amazing moments on the agility course for sure, but those aren't the moments that stick in my mind. It's the little things, snippets from our time together. Going to our very first puppy obedience class and finding out we both were pretty good at that stuff. Terry complimenting me on his perfect nails and feet. Spooning under the covers every single day. The way he would watch whole movies. The way he would bark his head off at the television. Singing to him while we waited in line for our turn to run at NADAC Champs. The shrill scream when he wouldn't get his way. Taking long walks together. Sitting quietly and just enjoying the moment together. The way he would pitch a fit and stomp around in the underwater treadmill because it wouldn't drain fast enough for him. How he loved his massages with Auntie Nicolette and was the perfect patient. Weavies for dinner. The way he gave the best, most wonderful kisses, but only when he chose to. How pushy and sassy he was. How the fur on his shoulders was softer than silk. How his favorite things in the world were bananas and cheesy poofs. The way he consented to love his little brother Bacon and played with him every day. His ears, how soft they were, how perfect. I couldn't stop stroking them the whole drive to the vet in his last hour. I wanted to cement that in my memory forever, the feel of those perfect ears sliding through my fingers. I can still feel them now.
We had a wonderful journey together, a dance, the
steps of which are stamped on my heart forever. He changed me and I
changed him, he was my soul's counterpoint. Not everyone is so lucky to
have that in their lifetime and I feel truly blessed. The pain of the
loss was excruciating but it was the price to pay for the joy of the
love. And though he be gone in body, I still feel him with me in spirit.
He visits me and comforts me, reminding me that he is still with me.
Our journey has just taken a different path. I love you and miss you
buddy, I will see you in my dreams.
.JPG)
