A little back story here, for those of you that don't know, I started agility with a once in a lifetime dog named Mojo. He was NOT a typical Novice A dog. He was brilliant, fast and did everything he could to make me look good. He placed overall every year he went to NADAC Championships, he was in the All Breed Top Ten in all the classes, he earned 14 NATCHes and Versatility NATCHes. He even earned a Platinum Speed Star, the only Doberman who ever has. He was my heart dog in every way. I got Luxx 2 years later and she did so many awesome things but always lived in his enormous shadow.
Enter Miss Jinn. I tried very hard for years to get the "perfect" agility Doberman. I did everything right, did my research, patiently waited through multiple failed breedings and major let downs. And finally there she was, my dog from great lines, full of drive and work ethic, good health and structure. This was it! We were going to take the world on by storm!! Or were we.....
Things started off well enough, she was a fast learner, eager to please. But her temperament was WAY on the soft and spooky side. She was suspicious of everyone, even as a small puppy. We spent ages working on socializing as much as possible, with as much positive exposure as we could find. She was so worried about everything in the world. We never let up and kept training and socializing and hoping for the best.
I had all of our great foundation skills in place and we were ready to make our big debut. And so began the 2 year process of quitting agility in frustration every other day. Jinn was unfocused, watching everything outside the ring, bar setters, the judge, anything but me. I tried to be positive, I tried not to let it get to me. I smiled gracefully through gritted teeth as I watched all of our classmates fly past us with ease, looking like seasoned agility dogs while we struggled to complete an entire course. And all the time there was this huge shadow, the shadow cast by Mojo. Mr Perfect. Mr Do No Wrong. Jinn couldn't compare to that. Why couldn't she just be like him? I would often come off a course, give her treats and put her up in her crate and then just cry and cry. My perfect dog wasn't perfect at all, she was a bitter disappointment. I had this bar of excellence set in my head and she was falling miserably short of the mark. And yes, I was embarrassed. I let my ego come between me and this perfect little soul. I will never forgive myself for that. Not in my entire lifetime.
Then something funny happened, Mojo had to retire because of physical difficulties, complications of CVI that made competing too dangerous for him. I was devastated... Yet somehow, like magic, this little pup started to grow up. She started to run like a "real dog" and became pretty successful, pretty damn consistent. It was like she was just waiting for her real time to shine. When I needed her the very most, she accepted my challenge and stepped up to the plate. Jinn prefers AKC, she lights up and runs with a smile there. So we set some goals. She achieved her first MACH her first year competing in Excellent and made it into the DPCA Top Twenty for that year. She also qualified and competed at the AKC National Agility Championship where she placed 18th out of 175 dogs in her 24" height division!
She continued to do well, so I thought, "what the heck?" I'll try to qualify her for the AKC Agility Invitational... To do so you must be in the top 5 dogs of your breed. Then you are sent an invite to compete. Some breeds this is an easy feat, Dobermans it is not. But we committed to it and put our eyes on the prize. It was a crazy year, competing MUCH more than I normally would, traveling almost every weekend, hotels, thousands of miles. Jinn and I became road warriors, our bond strengthened intensely during this marathon together.
In fact, we were out of town at a hotel when I received the phone call I had been dreading. The phone call that had us flying home down 95 at 2am to say goodbye the the greatest love of my life. She was right beside me in the back of the van as I held my boy in my arms on our very last ride together. And she was right beside me later that same morning when I opted to go back to New Jersey and run agility to try and numb the pain of my shattered heart. Some thought it odd, some totally understood. But I needed to NOT go home. She was right beside me through that. And she ran her heart out, qualifying and placing on a course almost no one made it through clean. It was like she knew I needed something extra. And for a second, when everyone cheered for us I felt no pain, only joy in that moment with my girl. And it was in that moment that she finally stepped out of Mojo's long shadow and became the true rock in my life. She has held me up all this time. She is always by my side. She tries her very best every time we step to the line. She makes me laugh, she spoons with me every night. She took all the pieces of my shattered heart and guarded them with every little bit she has. She is my perfect girl, and is now casting a shadow of her own. I couldn't be prouder of the teammate she has become. But more than anything, I couldn't be more thankful that fate saw to it that I received my "perfect" dog after all. She is as much a heart dog as Mojo ever was but in a totally different way. And I cherish every moment with her.
When we step to the line to compete this December I will not be thinking about making the Finals or getting a placement. I'm going to be giving a smile and a nod to my Mo, thanking him for giving his blessing. And I'm going to be full of joy to be running with my girl at the end of our year long journey together. And every time we step to the line. Because that is what I learned through all of this. Every run is a blessing, expectations are poison, live in the moment and with unbridled joy.
1 comment:
Congratulations to you and Jinn. I've been rooting for you two since I met her as a baby. God is good and puts the ones we need right where we need them when we need them there. Love deeply!!!
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